USELESS ADVICE FROM USELESS MEN
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USELESS ADVICE FROM USELESS MEN
QUESTION # 675: MONKEY BUSINESS
Dear Useless Men, It's been awhile since I wrote. Luckily I'm not Catholic or you'd be telling me I had to do some kind of annoying penance. Not that penance is all bad. Some of it is kind of fun. So... do you like being spanked or do you prefer to give a little swat now and then? Signed, Curious, The Cat with Claws Dear Curious (TCWC),Glad you came back with another question. I should state that continuous reading of Useless Advice From Useless Men is a kind of penance all its own. It has been a while for us to respond to this question and for that you are required to continue reading until you feel you've suffered enough. I understand why it took so long to dream up this controversial question. This is delicate for a couple of reasons. There is always the great debate about child rearing and if spanking is appropriate or more damaging. There is also the issue of animal testing inherent with this type of inquiry. I was for both, but let's break this down. Childrenary disciplination actions are a hot topic lately. I was spanked as a kid and I looked forward to spanking my own. Spanking is a learning process much like touching a hot stove. You touch a hot stove. You get burned. Your Mom yells at you a lot. You don't touch it again until you need more attention from Mom. Simple. Likewise, when you shave the dog and paint it to look like the cat, you get spanked. Then you won't shave the dog and paint it to like the cat again. Simple. Did I like being spanked as a kid? No. It was a punishment. Now seeing as I don't have kids yet, I had to test the "Spanker" theory somehow and as such I tested it the only way I knew how. I spanked my monkey. As a volunteer with the local zoo (which is my penance for shaving the dog and .... well you know), I was able to organize a safe and top of the line work environment where myself, Dr. Creepy-Janitor-With-The-Twitch, (I think the name is Hungarian), and Prince Kong (the chimpanzee I've been helping with) could conduct our research. I chose Prince Kong because kids are like monkeys. They climb on everything, they make a lot a noise, and a lot of mess. What I found when I spanked my monkey was that it wasn't all that satisfying. Perhaps it was the screeching the monkey made which made me realize it actually was hurting him more then it was hurting me. My Dad always said, “This is going to hurt me more than it hurts you” before muttering “little buggers” under his breath. I was surprised that my spanking of the monkey didn’t hurt me at all. Even spanking harder and faster, I was sore, but not as sore as Kong.  So perhaps it was my conscience that tainted the experience knowing Prince Kong had done nothing wrong. Or, maybe it was the creepy janitor guy with the twitch (who let me use his utility closet for the test) watching as I spanked my monkey that spoiled the experience. I don't know. I'm not a veterinarian. I won't lie. It got weird. Especially when my monkey spanked me. Monkey see, monkey do, I suppose.In the end, I found that I did not enjoy spanking. Not spanking my monkey or my unborn kids either. Did I like being spanked by Prince Kong? Yes. Because it was punishment.Sincerely,One Useless BrotherSend your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here.Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.Labels: body and functions, circus, games, health, links, One Useless Brother, parenting, survival of the fittest
Advice given at
1:44 PM
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6 Therapy Sessions |
 
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QUESTION # 674: QUATTRO TITANIUM TRIMMER ON THE LOOSE
Dear Useless Men,Gimme some useful advice- I always feel uncomfortable when searching for loose change. How do I change this?? In addition to soliciting advice, I'm writing to you today on behalf of Schick - they have a new Quattro Titanium Trimmer that is unlike anything else on the market. It has a four blade razor- with an edging blade on one end, and a trimmer on the other. Crazy, right??!We're sending out samples for bloggers to check out and review - I think you and your readership might be interested.Also, you can let your readers know that they can get their own free Titanium Trimmer in the mail. All they have to do is visit www.trimflixx.com and make their own video clip. No strings attached. As you know, people love hearing about ways of getting free stuff. Especially when it's a cool high tech razor like this one. I look forward to hearing from you.Best,Deanawww.trimflixx.comDear Deana, I’ll give you some useful advice: Keep sending us cool free stuff! I think it’s awesome when someone in the ad game (or the marketing game, or the free stuff to give away game) gets “it”. I mean, I like it better when I get “it”. Not all "it" because some of "it" is bad. Like tag, when being “it” sucks. Where was I? Sorry… It. You got "it" when you started by asking for our advice. Kudos to you and the folks that employ you. (Psst – Deana is a keeper!)That doesn’t change the fact that we are generally useless, and will barely be putting this answer up before your promotion is over. But not without our own extensive research. First I spent two weeks growing a beard. If I’m gonna try a shaving product, like your Quattro Titanium Trimmer, I’m darn well gonna give it a run for its money (which ironically, was free). I liked the man sized handle. I liked the extra blades. I really don’t know what the extra blade in the back does, other than cut me (I’m sure that’s not the proper thing to do with it, but I don’t read instructions). Regardless, the extra blade added that element of danger, like when we mow the lawn in sandals. Dangerous, but exhilarating. Which is how I feel about loose change. It’s not really loose if you have it trapped in a hand bag or a purse or pocket. You want confined change. If you have loose change trapped in your purse, let it go free. You ever corner a wild badger? That’s nothing if you have a handful of nickels ready to gnaw your hand off if you reach any closer. So let your loose change go free. If you don’t have any free range change farms where you are, feel free to send your loose change to us, where we will set it free in the Canadian north for you. (Loose change travels best in the form of a cheque.) Thanks for the extra cool razor. I gave the extra one to the Useless Wonder. Sadly, he thought I was writing back to a different question… Sincerely, One Useless ManSend your questions (and free stuff) to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here.Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.Labels: advertising, body and functions, contest, etiquette, free stuff, gadgets, gift ideas, health, links, men, One Useless Man, The Useless Wonder
Advice given at
5:01 PM
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0 Therapy Sessions |
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QUESTION # 673: USELESS NEWS NETWORKS
Dear Useless Men,Why does the media find it necessary to state the absolutely obvious facts in such a way that we are led to believe that it was a surprising revelation to them when they heard it at the press conference? My best example is the most recent tragic shooting in Omaha. There was a news story following that stated "Killer smuggled rifle into mall under his clothes." Well DUH !!!! Did they originally think that perhaps he had it strapped to the top of his hat like the wiener and bun on top of the hot-dog mobile? SignedDear Signed,The media has soldiered on for years as the providers and defenders of free thought and education for the masses. They have fought long and hard to ensure that we are kept up to date on current events and social trends. Over the years their effectiveness has been eroded. There was a time when the radio stations were the first to bring us current events. The newspapers would provide an in depth analysis of the stories we heard on the radio. The television came along and shows were created to truly exhaust the research on things. Entire channels have been devoted to single topics such as nature or renovations or cooking. Eventually they all scramble to take care of the good topics. What was left was the tripe and dross that makes up much of what we see on mainstream media today. What are the latest drunken starlets wearing? Who's dating who? These are all that's left.The media have been clamoring so long to be head over each other that they must continue speaking whether they have something to say or not. Dead air is the enemy! As such, we get treated to running commentary of … nothing. You need only tune in to the constant news networks on the air these days to hear the same nugget of information being restated over and over and over-analyzed for hours upon hours until the next nugget comes in. Watch. Rinse. Repeat.  In their pursuit of such, we, Useless Men, salute the media. Never in the history of the world has so much money and effort been expended to accomplish nothing at all. We are envious and as such put ourselves in the running for the next barons of global media.Please send your cheques and loose change to us that we may start the Useless News Network. I can tell you first hand that we'd love to cover any news story involving a hotdog mobile with coverage utilizing all the current technologies available to us. A multi pronged approach using print, radio, television and internet coverage in all its hotdog-ish splendor.Sincerely,Any More Useless I'd Be A CatSend your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here.Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.Labels: Any More Useless I'd Be A Cat, celebrity, international, rip-offs, television, video
Advice given at
1:02 PM
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3 Therapy Sessions |
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QUESTION # 672: SMELLY MR. KNOW-IT-ALL
Dear Useless Men,Why do ppl who think they know everything often have 20 cats and always smell like cat pee?Honkeie2Dear Honkeie2 Cat urine is stronger and more offensive than dog or human urine, so I can understand your repulsion. But don’t be too quick to judge, as there are plenty of stupid people who own cats as well. Take Jon Arbuckle for example. He’s not exactly famous for his knowledge of quantum mechanics or political science.Nevertheless, if the smell of cat pee offends you, try this helpful tip for avoiding the know-it-all types: You will need to learn to spot the know-it-all from a distance. Luckily, they can be easily recognized by their annoying characteristics. They will often talk a lot or speak very quickly, and use words you likely won’t understand. They can be tall, with greasy hair or big scruffy beards with wisps of grey. Thick glasses are common, as is non-directional pacing. If it proves difficult to avoid situations where you’d encounter a person matching this description you can always carry around a bottle of Urine Away. The fast-acting enzyme action eliminates cat urine odours and stains. Simply hose the know-it-all and let dry.Finally, you should avoid known know-it-all hangouts. There’s nothing worse than being cornered by a bearded close-talker who’s wearing a leopard-print thong with his boys hanging out the sides a little bit, and wants nothing more than to tell you about society’s mistakes while he feeds the 20 cats that live with him in his cardboard box in the alley behind the Useless Offices. Sincerely, The Useless WonderSend your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here.Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.Labels: advertising, body and functions, celebrity, etiquette, health, pets, The Useless Wonder, useless techniques
Advice given at
1:49 PM
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6 Therapy Sessions |
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QUESTION # 671: UNITING USP UNDER ICUSM
Dear Useless Men, Very, very long time ago, in IT department of one Telecom company we founded small useless community. We called it US since then, which is short for Useless Speaking. We talked about magnesium, reverse kicks, randomizing and many other interesting things. We used to do useless speaking on meetings, by mail and in our regular office life. I've been googling for other useless people and then, in 2006 I found YOU, Useless Men... My first question to you was : "What do you think about magnesium?" It was a test question, which let me identify how useless you are. I'm really happy to realize that we are not the only Useless Speaking People (USP) on the planet. I want to locate the other living forms of Useless Men and unite them under International Community of Useless Speaking Men (ICUSM). What do you think about this?Regards, Useless Speaking Dear Boris Badenov, Ah! Comrade! Long time, no speaking (useless or otherwise)! I trust all is well and the thaw has begun in lovely Pottsylvania? The western half of our country is in the grips of a typical Canadian Prairies Springtime here, having seen winter come and go twice in the past month. Sunny and 20 degrees Celsius one day, 20cm of snow the next!  But enough about me... I see you've been dabbling in IT, eh? Not exactly your usual "bomb in a briefcase" style for dealing out mayhem and destruction on moose and squirrel, but effective none-the-less. I can't count the number of times my network guy has come to fix my PC, only to leave me feeling like I'd be better off hanging myself from the air vent above my desk. Well, actually, I probably could count the number of times, but the result would just be an increased desire to hang myself from the air vent above my desk. Which begs the question: What is that air vent for, anyway? Well, air, obviously, but I haven't felt the slightest breeze from the thing the entire time I've worked here. There's even that little piece of pink ribbon tied to the grate that has me constantly looking up... Did it move? I think it moved... Yet my cubical is still only about 2 degrees cooler than the 7th circle of hell and smells like gym socks. Okay, really now, enough about me... You want to know what I think about uniting Useless Speaking People (USP) to form the International Community of Useless Speaking Men (ICUSM)? I think that sounds like a lot of people you'll need to talk into sex-change operations. And now, here's something we hope you'll really enjoy... Sincerely,Useless InternSend your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here.Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.Labels: Canada, men, paranoia, Useless Intern, weather
Advice given at
12:34 PM
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0 Therapy Sessions |
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QUESTION # 670: PUNK-TUATIONS
Dear Useless Men, Mkay.Here's the deal.... I met a man I really like, but he is ummmm.... otherwise spoken for.Not in the literal sense, but I get the feeling that his need to wrap up his past will take longer than what I have the time or patience for. How should I approach such a useless situation? psMay be that I am hoping for an extra little something under my tree rather than an actual 'relationship'. :DDear :D, I’ve never met someone with punctuation in their name. That is so cool. Punctuation is so powerful, and alluring. It’s like that old test where you put a sentence up and see how people punctuate it. The most common one is “Woman without her man is nothing.” People punctuate it differently and get different meanings. Like, “Woman, without her, man is nothing” and “Woman, without her man, is nothing.” I wrote, “Woman, without her man, is Wo.” I failed. Professor said I left nothing out of the assignment. I countered that nothing changed. He agreed that nothing changed, and that nothing was wrong. I said, “Exactly.” So why did I fail? Teacher said I left nothing out. I agreed that nothing was left out. And the confusion continued with Professor Costello. So when you say this man of yours is otherwise spoken for, I assume you mean he is in another set of figurative “quotation marks.” My English professor would likely suggest you approach the situation with a full range of punctuation.  Some women think they need to make a statement, but then miss the period. That’s an opening for trouble, and interpretation. Did you leave him thinking it was a question mark? You could be too aggressive and leave an emphatic exclamation point! Or the ambiguous ellipse that leaves the reader wondering what more you meant… The best way to solve your dilemma is through word association. Ask your man this question, “If you were a form of punctuation, what punctuation would you be?” It’s a great way to see how his mind works, and what he really thinks of himself. Compare your answer with his, and see if you would be compatible. As a base, my English Prof asked me the same question. I said I was a colon. But that was because I eat a lot of bran.Sincerely, ::: One Useless Man :::Send your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here.Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.Labels: dating, grammatics, One Useless Man
Advice given at
2:04 PM
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5 Therapy Sessions |
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QUESTION # 669: CHARITY COMES FROM THE MIND
Dear Useless Men, I think it's great The Useless Wonder is participating the Becel Ride for Heart.I tried to send you a donation -- but the only accepted Credit Cards... which I don't have (was hoping for paypal *lol*)Oh well... it's the thought that counts, right???Sincerely, ~Tried To Help....Dear Tried to Help, On September 21, 1938, Murray Albert arrived home after work as usual, and stumbled upon a scene. He was surprised to find his wife having tea with her two sisters and their parents. All around their feet was scattered the evidence of a party; torn paper, ribbons, bows, empty boxes and three “Waring” blenders.Completely forgetting his wife’s birthday, and seeing both the anger in her expression and the three weapons on the floor, Murray quickly came up with a story. “I wanted to buy you a Cadillac,” he told her, “but the 1939 models didn’t arrive in time. It’s the thought that counts, right sweetheart?” History was made. To this day, Useless Men every where still use the Murray Albert to avoid getting whacked in the head with a blender. I agree that the thought should count. It would make the world a better place. If thoughts counted, it would give the Heart & Stroke Foundation bragging rights. Fundraising would be 10X easier as one would only have to think about donating $100 and it would be done, even if the $100 didn’t come from their own wallet. In no time, the Heart & stroke Foundation could honestly say they were the top fundraiser in the world.And it would eliminate violence. Bank robbers would only have to think about holding up a bank at gunpoint and they’d be rich without ever having to beat your cute little grandma’s adorably wrinkled head in.It would also solve world hunger as merely thinking of giving food to economically challenged countries would result in bellies full of grubs, worms and millipedes. And finally, if thoughts counted, all I would have to do to get myself out of this demeaning, stab-myself-in-the-face-with-a-pitchfork job writing Useless replies is to think of a giant cement truck delivering its creamy load straight into the Useless Office right in the middle of One Useless Man’s famous you-won’t-be-getting-paid-again-this-week meetings.But thanks anyway!Sincerely, The Useless WonderP.S. If not a credit card, I would also accept personal cheques and secret Swiss bank account wire transfers. Send your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here. Click to Support The Useless Wonder in the Becel Ride For Heart. The Useless Wonder gave the shirt off his back! You just have to give your credit card number to a legitimate donation site! Can we make it ANY easier? Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.Labels: automotive, gift ideas, holidays, sports, survival of the fittest, The Useless Wonder, useless techniques
Advice given at
10:58 PM
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0 Therapy Sessions |
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QUESTION # 668: YAAAWWWWWNNNNnnn.....
Dear Useless Men,What do you think about sleep. Is it highly overrated. Personally, I don't feel there can be too much sleep, but then perhaps I just need a nap.Sincerely,SleepyDear Sleepy,I am a chronic insomniac and can honestly say that sleep is like air. You don't really notice it until it begins to run out. Personally I do find sleep to be highly overrated. You're dealing with a man who calls sleeping in getting up at 8:00am.  For the record, I generally get around 5-6 hours a night. I never was a napper but have found that as sleep and I have fallen out of favour that naps and I have become acquainted. Like a bad marriage where you get bored with each other and begin fooling around, naps and sleep don't get along either. Once I nap I find that sleeping is even more difficulty for me. Not that I don't enjoy it. A good nap is invigorating and even though I know I'll pay for it later I find myself craving the nap. The thrill of chasing a good nap is invigorating. I imagine that by the time and an old grey haired chap that sleep and I will be in an occasional relationship at best. Instead I shall collect most of my rest in a series of naps. The sad irony of this is that by the time I get to that age I'll not have much to fill my time with as opposed to now, when those few hours would be so handy. I suppose it's a good thing that as a Useless Man I am lacking in the ambition and focus departments. This will allow me to fill the abundance of time with things like chasing kids off my lawn and watching bugs fly into the bug zapper lamp. There's always the opportunity to catch up on my navel gazing... We'll see what time brings.Sincerely,Any More Useless, I'd Be A CatP.S. Give my regards to the other dwarves could you please? What's the deal with Snow White? Looks like hers and housekeeping skills too? I'm surprised you guys let her get away!Send your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here.Click to Support The Useless Wonder in the Becel Ride For Heart. By support, we mean GIVE MONEY! Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.Labels: Any More Useless I'd Be A Cat, body and functions, celebrity, dating, etiquette, health
Advice given at
3:08 PM
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1 Therapy Sessions |
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QUESTION # 667: DOES FOOTBALL HAVE A YEAST INFECTION?
Dear Useless Men,With all this talk about steroids in baseball why have they seemed to over look the obvious juice junkies-Football and Hockey players? I mean come on now, being on the gear won't help you hit the ball if you can't swing it in time. But it sure will help out your game if you are a Labatt Blue beer swigging ice fairy who's only part in the game is to start a fight. Or all you have to do is stop the other roider in front of you from moving forward. Why are they so concerned with only baseball plays shooting junk into their rears? PhilDear Phil, The answer to this one is quite simple: Filler. You see, in the world of professional sports, there are times during broadcasts when there just isn't enough action on the field or ice for the Play-by-Play Commentator to call. That's where the Colour Commentator and, subsequently, Filler come in. Hockey is a sport of extreme skill and agility, one where the action is nearly non-stop. There is so much passing, checking, shooting, and saving going on that the play-by-play will leave all but the best commentators tongue-tied. And, as such, the Colour Commentator rarely has enough time to spit out a few plus-minus stats in between whistles, let alone get into who is abusing what over-the-counter cold medicine. With football, broadcasters face different challenges. It is unclear whether the stop-and-start nature of the game causes, or is a product of, the average football fan's shortened attention span, but the two are most certainly linked. This means that, while there is plenty of time between plays to fill, it is vital that this time be used to remind the fans of the few basic tenets of the game:  "Hamilton will need a first down on this next play" "Toronto will have to make a drive for the End Zone if they hope to score a touchdown""The Stampeders Cheerleaders are a Look But Don't Touch exhibition..." If the commentators were to dwell on the use of performance-enhancing drugs, and the resulting domestic abuses, the fans would quickly become confused, disoriented, and riotous. Much like European Football fans. Baseball is the only professional sport with so little action and so few players of interest that a game could be commentated by the women of The View and still run the risk of dead air. As a way to fill the gaps, it's obvious that networks like NBCSports, ESPN, TSN, among others, had to choose between discussing players' left- or right-handed techniques for scratching their own Danger Zones or controversial home run record holders. I have to say, I'm quite happy with their decision. Sincerely,Useless InternSend your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here.Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.Labels: health, sports, television, Useless Intern
Advice given at
2:30 PM
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QUESTION # 666: FEELING LUCKY?
Dear Useless Men, Do useless men buy lottery tickets? Question by The Oddly Useless Foundation of Ontario Dear Q by the OUF of Ont, Kudos on the hard to handle handle. Short answer? No. Long answer? Yes. We do not "buy" lottery tickets, but we do buy into the office lottery pool. We have to in order to work here. If we don't acknowledge the existence of the lottery, then the Trademark Advice Randomizer doesn't acknowledge us. How are we going to be paid then? By winning the Lottery? I don't think so. Have you seen those odds of that? Seriously though, how are we to get paid then? Can someone ask because I have not seen any money come my way. If you work with Useless Advice From Useless Men then you're in the Lottery. The Trademark Advice Randomizer is like the organizer in that it keeps track of all Useless employees. Come mid-June, it spits out several slips of paper and each of us takes one. All slips are blank except for one which is marked with a large black circle. The (un)lucky one gets ... well I think most of you know where I'm going with this. Those of us who ended up with the blank slips spend the next few days gathering stones. Large ones, small ones, doesn't matter. We just spend night and day gathering stones. I remember one last year that was so big, I had to carry it with both hands. Remembering back to last year isn't easy for any of us. June 27th, 2007 arrived like an overwhelming sense of dread as we all gathered at The Useless Wonder’s house. The day was humid, thick with tension. Apprehension weighed on us like a sack full of stones. Maybe it was the sack full of stones we each carried that weighed us down. I don't know. I'm not a poet. It just seemed that, like The Useless Wonder had been marked, there was a symbolic black circle around his home. As we all emptied our stones upon the ground with none too far out of reach that any one of us could not grab one and hurl it on a split second notice, The Useless Wonder came out to make his final plea, before the stoning began. He cried out, "Please do NOT place your stones outside of the black circle I've drawn around my house!" And with that we all threw down and began the back-breaking work of building a fortified wall around The Useless Wonder’s property.  So I ask you, who really was last years winner of the Useless Lottery pool? Who? It was the Useless Wonder and he wanted us to build a bloody stone wall around house! Everyday since that day, as I come into the Useless Offices, I see that danged wall standing not a stones throw away and I wince at what prize I'll have to build this year. Man, I hope I win the Lottery this time. Sincerely,One Useless BrotherSend your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here.Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.Labels: free stuff, games, home maintenance, One Useless Brother, redecorating, rip-offs, The Useless Wonder, trademarked advice randomizer
Advice given at
8:01 PM
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0 Therapy Sessions |
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QUESTION # 665: BOBBING FOR OXYGEN
Dear Useless Men,Why do scuba divers always enter the water backwards?S.S.Dear Scuba Steve,Thanks for your question. Scuba diving is a fun underwater activity where participants must wear a tank of super tasty oxygen on their backs so that they can breathe while submerged. It allows divers to swim with the fishes; in a non-Johnny Left-Foot related way.Doing things backwards has gotten a bad rap over the years thanks to Useless Men like us. It’s because of our idiocy that such clichés as “Don’t put the cart before the horse,” and the other, less famous cliché, “Don’t polish the chrome before a rainstorm.” Surprisingly, the horse cliché became a household phrase, despite the lack of horses and carts, and the increase in chrome and chrome-related products.  Things are different now. Doing things backwards is cool! Just ask Kris Kross. Doing things backwards adds excitement to any activity. Imagine how fast your heart would beat if you drove 30 miles to work in reverse? And Canada’s Wonderland nearly tore down the all but ignored ride, The Bat, until some engineer made a last ditch effort to save it by running it backwards to attract the kids.Yes, doing things backwards is way more awesomer than doing things frontwards, but scuba diving is not for everyone. Scuba diving may cause some unwanted symptoms. Common side effects include: dry mouth, drowsiness, constipation, diarrhea, blurred vision, high blood pressure, low blood pressure, nausea, heartburn, erectile dysfunction, weight gain and weight loss. Do not operate heavy machinery while scuba diving. Ask your doctor if scuba diving is right for you.Sincerely,The Useless WonderSend your questions to Useless Advice from Useless Men! Click here.Subscribe to Useless email updates. Click here.Labels: body and functions, health, sports, The Useless Wonder, travel, weight loss
Advice given at
7:25 PM
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0 Therapy Sessions |
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QUESTION # 670: PUNK-TUATIONS
QUESTION # 669: CHARITY COMES FROM THE MIND
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QUESTION # 667: DOES FOOTBALL HAVE A YEAST INFECTI...
QUESTION # 666: FEELING LUCKY?
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