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Stalking
Sexual Harassment Support
Support and information for anyone who has experienced sexual harassment.
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Stalking
Stalking is defined as the willful and repeated following, watching, and/or harassing of another person. In most cases, the purpose of stalking is to force a relationship with an unwilling or unavailable target. The act of stalking is a continuous process, consisting of numerous incidents. Rokkers writes, "Stalking is a form of mental assault, in which the perpetrator repeatedly, unwantedly, and disruptively breaks into the life-world of the victim, with whom they have no relationship (or no longer have)." For the most part, the separate acts that make up the intrusion cannot by themselves cause the mental abuse, but taken together they do, as there is a cumulative effect. Contrary to other crimes that usually consist of a single act, stalking consists of a series of actions, which in themselves can be legal, such as calling on the phone or sending emails.Some stalking behaviors:Waiting at the victim's workplace or in their neighborhood.Persistent phone calls.Surveillance: persistently watching the individual; contacting people who know the victim to gather information about them--such as family, neighbors, friends, colleagues, etc.; searching public or personal records, or the trash, for information about the victim; employing detective agencies to watch the victim; using cameras, audio equipment, or phone tappingManipulative behavior (for example: bringing legal action against the victim, or threatening to commit suicide in order to coerce the victim to intervene--all methods of forcing contact with the stalker)Sending written messages: letters, emails, notes.Sending gifts from the seemingly "romantic" (i.e. flowers and/or candy) to the bizarre (i.e.pornographic gifts)Defamation of character: the stalker will often lie to others about the victim, trying to limit their options and weaken their support network. This isolates the victim, making them seem more vulnerable, and gives the stalker a feeling of power and control. "Objectification": the stalker derogates the victim. This reduces the target to an object which allows the stalker to feel angry with the victim without experiencing empathy, or feel they are entitled to behave as they please toward the victim. Viewing the victim as "lesser," "weak" or otherwise seriously flawed can support delusions that the victim needs to be rescued, or punished, by the stalker.Threats and violence: the stalker uses threats to frighten the victim; vandalism and property damage (usually to the victims car); physical attacks that leave abrasions and bruises (mostly meant to frighten); less common--physical attacks that leave serious physical injuries, or sexual assaultsCyberstalking: electronic mediums, such as the Internet, are used to pursue, harass or contact another in an unsolicited fashion. The stalker may use the Internet to tap into their target's computer for information using spyware. They may loiter around forums they know their target frequents, even joining the forums in order to contact their target, or contact other forum members the target interacts with. Cyberstalking is an extension of the physical form of stalking.Gang stalking: stalking by multiple perpetrators, or one perpetrator is able to convince others to assist in his/her stalking and harassing activities against a victimPatterns: According to the National Center For The Victims Of Crime, 1 out of every 12 women will be stalked during her lifetime. 1 out of 45 men will be stalked during his lifetime. Over one million women, and nearly 380,000 men are stalked annually. Exactly like any other crime, behaviour, or clinical disorder, stalking exists on a continuum of severity. The stalking may be so subtle that the victim may not even aware that it is happening, or the perpetrator may have a sincere belief that “if they would just get to know me, they would like me”, or that “I just want to help them,“ with no malicious intent. Most cases of stalking do not even rise to extreme levels of violence or harassment.Stalker traits: Stalkers tend to obsess about their victim, and they refuse to believe that s/he does not want a relationship with them. Every plan the stalker makes for the future involves their victim, and the great amount of time (and sometimes money) they spend invested in stalking often leads the stalker to believe that continued stalking is justified. They tend to have very weak social skills, and usually see nothing wrong with their behavior. (Normal individuals would be mortified to be caught following other people, looking for information about them, tracking them on the Internet, leaving notes, and other inappropriate behavior displayed by stalkers.) Few stalkers see how their actions are hurting others, and they do not believe society's rules apply to them. They do not believe they are threatening, intimidating, or even that they are stalking someone. Stalkers see all of their actions simply as attempts to get closer to their target, help them, or to gain their love. To the victim, it is like a "prolonged rape." (For more information, see Types of Stalkers)Effects of stalking: Stalking Help, a stalking victims' resource organization based at the University of Texas, reports some effects of stalking:93% of stalking victims indicate that being stalked had a significant negative impact on their personal relationships.Of those victims currently in romantic relationships, 71 % indicate that being stalked created conflict in their romantic relationships, most often reporting that their current romantic partner was jealous of or intimidated by the stalker. 63% of stalking victims reported conflict in their friendships as a result of being stalked. The conflict was most often created by victims' unwillingness to attend social events where their stalker might be present and friend's frustration because they believed the victim was not doing enough to deter their stalker.Nearly 38% of stalking victims reported losing time from school or work as a result of being stalked. Some indicated that they had changed jobs or transferred to another school to escape the always-present terror they experienced.Most stalking victims reported that they were at a loss about what they could do to end their victimization. Most of the tactics they tried seemed to make matters worse.Many of the victims reported living in perpetual fear that something might push their stalker over the edge and lead him to physically assault, sexually assault, or even murder them.In addition, stalking can effect work and school performance in several ways. The behaviors often interfere directly with attendance or productivity and result in the workplace or school becoming an unsafe location, or the victim's feeling they are unsafe. Further, stalking may indirectly affect a person's ability to work due to the many adverse emotional consequences suffered such as headaches, poor concentration, depression, anxiety, guilt, shame, helplessness, humiliation, gastrointestinal disorders, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD), etc. Home will also feel unsafe, and the victim's ability to function and complete daily tasks will usually be affected. (For other effects, see Effects of Sexual Harassment )(Sources: 4, 5, 10, 27, 41, 48, 57, 67)
Links:Stalking BehaviorStalking SanctuaryNational Center for the Victims of CrimeCornell University's Stalking site (course on how to manage stalking)Stalking HelpAntiStalkingESIA (End Stalking In America)NSS (Network for Surviving Stalking- UK)
NCVC Stalking Awareness pin
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Effects of Sexual HarassmentWhat You Can Do If You Are Being Sexually HarassedRecovery From Sexual HarassmentStories and ExperiencesSupport GroupsSpeak Up! BlogLinksSite Map_
Stalker Types and Patterns
Read stories by stalking victims =>
What to do if you are being stalked =>
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