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| About site: People/Men/Gatherings - The Arlington Men's Council |
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| About site: http://members.aol.com/StagofLife/Arlington.html |
Title: People/Men/Gatherings - The Arlington Men's Council Provides an overview and contact information for this organization in Arlington, Virginia.
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The Arlington Men's Council THE ARLINGTON MEN'S COUNCIL Nine years ago a small group of men at the UnitarianUniversalist Church of Arlington (Virginia) met to watch a tape of "A Gatheringof Men", an interview by Bill Moyers of the poet Robert Bly. We were blownaway -- and immediately convened ourselves in our own gathering, The Arlington Men's Council The Church had not been home to a place for men to meetsince the late sixties -- when that men's group was home to many excitingpolitical discussions. That group died when it was opened to women. Membersof the church, especially women, were initially suspicious that the newexclusionary Council was merely misogynism in disguise. They were ultimatelydisabused of that fear.The purpose of the Council is, and has been to provide a place where men can explore what it is to be male in the late 20th century; where men can bond with each other away from doing or talking about sports; where politics or "other" bashing is discouraged and all statements should start with "I"; where men can work to build a rich and open emotional life, getting out of their heads and into their hearts.  The council is not about women or a reaction to feminism. It is about men and their unique virtues and experiences. It is about their wounds and their powers. It is about having integrity, and building healthy relationships with other people. For many men the Council is an introduction to men's work in a non-threatening, nurturing atmosphere. And, many men go on to other activities including more difficult psychic explorations such as the ManKind Project's New Warrior Adventure Weekend. We meet monthly -- the first Sunday of every month -- a schedule that men can depend on and one that was recently changed by popular request. We have no bylaws, no elections, and no dues (just monthly donations to keep up our mailings). After some linguistic excursions we settled on "Anchor" for the title of the man who would take responsibility for running the meeting. By custom the Anchor serves for a year and is named by the outgoing Anchor from among those regular attendees who have not yet had the duty. There is also a volunteer newsletter editor. Other roles are assumed as required by those who attend. Over the years many hundreds of men have passed through our Council. Sometimes as few as 5 have attended meetings, and we have had as many as 40. Some men come almost every month. Some just once in a while. Some go away and come back. Some find the size or frequency of the monthly meeting uncomfortable and instead participate in one of the many small and autonomous support groups that have spun off the Council.  And, some move on to other work but hold the Council ingreat affection.Those attending the monthly planning sessions (the "WisdomCouncil") for each meeting are often church affiliated -- but this is nota requirement. Over the years this Council has also been an entree for newmen to the church -- but that is not its purpose. Our Council is promotedto male members of the church but that isn't even its audience per se. Allmen are accepted for who they are, where the are, and why they come. To recruit,we have reached out to men personally through regional "new age" publications,through therapists, 12 step programs, and little announcements in local papers.Word of mouth has been most effective.As a Council, our outside activities have been minimal.We have lead the occasional worship service, sponsored the occasional workshop,and worked on the annual regional men's gathering. But men, as individuals,not as members of the Council, make other contributions to their communities.We have been very successful in what we do, in part because we do not tryto be all things. Men have found true Brothers here, friendships that haveextended beyond the meetings, and work that extends beyond the personal.A typical meeting structure: The Meeting begins at 7 p.m., with a short business meeting, announcements, and a passing of a drum for donations. (But men begin to gather starting at 6:30 p.m. to drum. There is something primal and centering about drumming. It is a chance for many of us to get out of our heads and into our bodies and hearts.) A ritual opening follows with burning sage, self introductions, and group acknowledgment. This emphasizes the special, even sacred, nature of the space and the gathering. The pre-announced theme portion of the evening is begun, for example; "times of transformation," "competition," or "grief," or "fun". Poetry or visualizations often help emphasize the theme. Some movement (dance or non-competitive wrestling or something relevant) helps ground the theme outside of our intellects. Some emotional exercise leads to small (2 or 3 men) group sharing. This might lead to a whole group sharing on the theme. More activities fill out the evening until about 8:45 when the council circles up for a "talking stick". Any man can take the stick and be heard -- without interruption. All we ask is that these statements be from the heart, about the man, and use the word "I" instead of "you", "them", "him" or "her".Afterwards, while many of us adjourn for a beer orburger, the Council meetings will now be immediately followed by a meetingof the Wisdom Council, which can be attended by any man, in order to mapout plans for the following month's meeting.There are plenty of places for men to talk, intellectualize,or use their muscles. But places where we can safely be ourselves, shareour feelings, and be accepted are few. This Council gives us a place forthat and its effect carries over into our work-a-day lives. NEXT MEETING IS SUNDAY, MARCH 7th. DRUMMING AT 6:30 MEETING AT 7:00 The Arlington Universalist Unitarian Church 4444 Arlington Boulevard (Route 50 & George Mason Drive) Arlington, Virginia, USA Above text by Eric Rodenburg, edited by Thomas McRoberts. Graphics by  |
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Provides | an | overview | and | contact | information | for | this | organization | in | Arlington, | Virginia. |
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http://members.aol.com/StagofLife/Arlington.html
The Arlington Men's Council 2008 July
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