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Title: support groups/sexual abuse/survivors - I Am A Survivor Not A Victim A survivor shares her story of sexual abuse.
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I Am Not A Victim I Am A Survivor @font-face { font-family: Lucida Sans;}@page Section1 {size: 8.5in 11.0in; margin: 1.0in 1.25in 1.0in 1.25in; mso-header-margin: .5in; mso-footer-margin: .5in; mso-paper-source: 0; }P.MsoNormal { FONT-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"}LI.MsoNormal { FONT-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"}DIV.MsoNormal { FONT-SIZE: 12pt; MARGIN: 0in 0in 0pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-style-parent: ""; mso-pagination: widow-orphan; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"}A:link { COLOR: #0000ee; TEXT-DECORATION: underline; text-underline: single}SPAN.MsoHyperlink { COLOR: #0000ee; TEXT-DECORATION: underline; text-underline: single}A:visited { COLOR: #3333ff; TEXT-DECORATION: underline; text-underline: single}SPAN.MsoHyperlinkFollowed { COLOR: #3333ff; TEXT-DECORATION: underline; text-underline: single}P { FONT-SIZE: 12pt; COLOR: black; FONT-FAMILY: Arial; mso-fareast-font-family: "Times New Roman"}DIV.Section1 { page: Section1} var PUpage="76001073"; var PUprop="geocities"; var yvnContents='http://us.toto.geo.yahoo.com/toto?s=76001073&l=NE&b=0&t=1036956966';yvnR='us';yfnEA(0); TheOfficial Webring of PhenomenalWomen.com  ThisSite Is Owned By: Marlena NextSite | PreviousSite Random| ListSites Only accepted members of the PhenomenalWomen Of The Web® participatein this ring. Apply For PWOTWMembership   The reason I wrotethis page! I wanted toshare what I have been through, and what I have learned. I believe thatsurvivors can help each other get through difficult times. Survivorstend to have some of the same reactions and feelings to things, sincesome of what we have been through is the same. I also feel this is avital part of my recovery, to be able to share some part of what I havebeen through. I have spent some time surfing the internet, and havefound there are sooooo many women looking for support while trying torecover. We should all try and help each other because in helpingothers we are also healing ourselves. The internet with all its websites, newsgroups, support groups etc. is the best tool we have athelping each other and ourselves. We can reach people who dont have atherapist or anyone else who need to talk. People who have not beenthrough rape or sexual abuse usually have a hard time having aconversation about it to someone who has been through it. They don'tknow what to say to us, they don't bring it up to us thinking maybe wewere not thinking about it just then. Well you know what..... WE ARETHINKING ABOUT IT. Not a day goes by that I don't think about it insome form, that something doesn't spark a memory, a feeling something.Since people are reluctant to bring the subject up we rarely get totalk about things that are bothering us. Abuse needsto come more out in the open. We need to be talking more about abuse inour schools, church's, temples etc.......We need everyone who can readto start learning what this crap does to us. Maybe if our Grandfathers,Fathers, Uncle's Brothers, Neighbors etc...Knew really knew... whatpeople go through there whole lives carrying this garbage we callsexual abuse around, MAYBE we could start stopping it. Maybe if youngchildren were taught in school that it's OK to TELL if someonedoes touch them, that it's OK to say NO. MAYBE just maybe wecould stop the cycle. Yes it's more open than it was years ago, but notenough. NOT NEARLY ENOUGH...... Please feelfree to read my web site and please take the time to sign my guest bookand give me your comments either good or bad, or if u prefer e-mail anycomments to me. PLEASE PLEASE take a look at the missing children.Maybe if we all try we can help get some of our children back home. I amco-founder of a room called Safe Room on yahoo. I havededicated a lot of time to making saferoom truly a place wheresurvivors can come and feel safe...We chat in the chat room or postmessages to each other. We pour out our hearts pain to each other, inreturn we get support from people who know how we feel and who are nonjudgmental. We try to keep members knowing they are not alone and thatthere is hope out there. I am living proof that it can get better. Hardwork, a good therapist and the yearning for a "normal" life is what ittakes. Believe me it can help. Everyoneis welcome to stop by and visit or become a member. Just click theSaferoom link below.  12/12/98 I Thought iwould just update the page a little. Safe Room has about 55 members nowand we have beenhaving nightly chats which are really helping me and Ibelieve the members who attend as well. A lot of people say "beware" of on-line friends that there not real, well I have todisagree. I have made some real close friends online and I do considerthem "REAL" friends.  ThoughtI would take a minute or two to just update where I am in my recovery.Around thanksgiving I decided to say something to my mom since I hadjust had an episode where I was having terrible flashbacks, and evenwound up in the E.R. For the first time in my 44 years I had reallysunk to my lowest. I had the worse weekend in a long time. I could notcontrol my memories and I was just out of it. Susan (my therapist)spent the entire evening from 11:30 PM to 7:30 A.M. with me in the ERit was terrible I thought they were going to have to keep me there.Susan kept talking to me and held my hand. They put me on meds and Ifeel better now. This was also the first time in my life that I canremember cutting myself on purpose .I actually took a knife and slicedx's in my .I can only think that I was doingthis as a release for the pain that was building up inside. So twoweeks later I decided I had had enough of this alone stuff. I decidedit was time to let everyone in. So I decided to start with my bestfriend Amy. I wrote her a poem and we talked after she read it and sheis very supportive now. My best friend told some friends I told someothers and now most of all my friends know about the abuse. So next wasmy family I decided again to do it via a poem. So again I wrote a poemthis time for mom. I left it near her bed one night and knew she wouldsee it .I waited that night for her to call she never did. She calledthe next morning and said she found the letter or whatever it was andwanted to talk about it. Well she is going to come to Susan's with meand try and help me. She is giving me the benefit of the doubt. Sinceshe was not there she will believe me that I was abused. This is a stepin the right direction. I feel like for the first time in my life myfamily will finally learn who I am. I will update again after Susan andmom meet. 2/25/99  Wellmom and Susan did meet, actually for two sessions. They went well Ithought. Mom told Susan she did believe me when I said I wassexually abused but she did not think it happened at the Hebrew School.Ok so if not there where? S he had no answers, just want to find outwhere it happened. There are suspicious things that happened at theHebrew School mom said. Like I was the only student, it was dark in theclassroom when she came to pick me up. Mom claims I was no differentafter the Hebrew School issue. I of course have no memories so I don'tknow who I was. Mom has gone away for the winter so any other sessionswith Susan will have to be in April when she comes back. She was ableto get me the address of the Hebrew School. Susan and I will be makinga trip there in the next couple of weeks, to see if anything else issparked that I may have forgotten. I also think it's time for morehypno-therapy. I will make an appointment with someone in the nearfuture for that as well. I have been feeling very down the last coupleof weeks and I am not really sure why.  SafeRoom now has 113 members and growing. We have had our share of problemsjust like most of the other clubs. As a whole there are a lot of verysupportive, caring really nice folks in the club. We seem to be able tochat every evening and to most people that come, this seems to help. Iwish we never had another person join Safe Room. I wish we could stampout sexual abuse, but alas we can't. I will make it my life longstruggle at this point to try and make it better for sexual abusesurvivors. Even if I can only contribute my time I feel I can make adifference. If I can help one person feel better about themselves wellthat's reward enough for me. I will continue to update this page, asoften as I possibly can. 4/1/99  Safe Roomnow has 140 members in it, and we seem to be growing each day. We nowhave moderators covering the chat room at different times during theday and night. I have really found some really great people who arealso willing to give a bit of themselves and make Saferoom the greatclub that it is. To those people who are helping me either behind thescenes or in front THANK YOU (You know who you are) Withoutthese people I could not have continued to grow the club. A specialthank you to both Lorretta and Gari for the outstanding job of creatingthe graphics for this page and for the saferoom web ring. Without thesetwo gals the site and web ring would not be a reality. Thank youladies. The goals I have for Saferoom are to be a driving force on theinternet for survivors to come and feel comfy. I (with the help of myfriends) am working on the web site and web ring to get that going.Down the road I would like to have a monthly newsletter, an e-mail listand god who knows what else.I have included a bookstore on this site,not for profit but as a way for survivors to know they can order booksin the privacy of there own homes without having to feel funny goinginto a store to buy them. If the bookstore does make any money I willdonate it all to a good survivor cause, as I do not wish to profit fromthis in any way.  On apersonal level today Is not a great day for a couple of differentreasons. April 1st was my dad's birthday. He is gone just 2 years, andI cannot believe I still grieve almost daily for him. My dad and I hada lot of issues I should have worked out with him. Weight being theutmost thing. I often wonder if he knew about the abuse, or the rapewould it have made a difference. I dunno. I would like to think hewould have understood and not been so hard on me. Well I will neverknow that so I must move on. So today being his birthday I am going togive myself a present. I am giving my life back to me. I will loseweight now for myself. I want and need to do this, and it has nothingto do with him anymore. I know I will have some problems as I get thin,with having to learn that because man finds me attractive does not meanhe is a rapist. I will need help but I now have the greatest supportsystem around, between Susan and all my friends I will do it this time.  The otherreason today is not a good day is something that happened last nitereally hit home. We went to my sister-in laws house for the holidaydinner. After dinner sitting around talking my sister-in law startsreminding my daughter about all the good times they had when she was achild. My daughter used to go over there and spend a lot of time withher. She took her skiing, to the beach and things I would never do. Isat there listening and got so sad. Sad cause I barely remember herchildhood. She is 20 years old and I barely remember any of it. I wasnot there for a lot of her life. I was there physically but not therementally. I hate what the abuse has done to me. I hate that it robbedme of my childhood and my daughters childhood. I could not be there forschool trips, I could not be there for school functions, hubby went .Iwas to weighed down with my own past to be there. So today I sit andcry about how much time I have lost. I cannot at this point do anythingabout that lost time, but I can make sure from now on I am "THERE". So today is a birth of sorts for me, anew leaf so to speak. I willmake a conscious effort to be there and try and work on my short-termmemory as well. 5/24/99  Saferoom nowhas 210 members. We seem to be adding new members just about everyday.I am also pleased to say that the members all seem very caring andwilling to give of themselves.  On apersonal note...... I have done so much healing in the past couple ofmonths that I did not even notice that my life had changeddramatically. I used to wake with flash backs, go all day with em andthen dread going to sleep for fear the nightmares would return. I wasin Susan's office last week and out load came the words" I can go dayswithout having any flashbacks I couldn't believe I had said it, andonce out in the open I started realizing it to be true. I was havingdays without any flashbacks at all. No nightmares nothing. I cried thatnight...Cried for the part of me I was starting to get back. Cried forthe woman who was not tormented day in and day out by flashbacks andfear. Now I am not saying I still don't have bad days, I do and I amsure I will continue to, but now there few in comparison. What a turnaround from last year. Last year I had mostly bad days with one or twogood days thrown in...Now it's the complete opposite...I still cannotbelieve it. For five years I been going to Susan and for those fiveyears all I have heard her say is" You will heal. You will have gooddays....You will be able to get on with your life" all I would say isyeah when????????I don't think I ever really believed her but kept hopein my heart she was right. Well once again she was right....Susan"Thank You" again and again for helping me keep that hope alive withinmy soul. Now as I meet and chat with people from all over the worldwho's lives have been shattered by sexual abuse, I can say to them andreally believe it "have hope "it really can get better. This is an ongoing struggle for all of us survivors to believe. It seems we are insuch a dark, dismal place it's hard to believe when someone tells us itwill get better, we think there just words. Well I am testimony that itdoes get better......All u need is faith, a good therapist, maybe somemedication, and most of all hard work. I think survivors knowinstinctually how to work hard, we had to do it to keep sane....Pleasedon't give up.......Please have hope it can happen to you as it has forme........IT REALLY AND TRULY CAN........... 6/13/99  Saferoom now has 222 members andgrowing strong. There are so many people from so many different walksof life. We all come together by acommon link called childhood sexual abuse. Many people come by thesaferoom to seek support, others come by to offer support Whatever thereason I am glad they come. Not because I want the largest abuse clubout there. Not because it does my ego good. Because if there is oneperson out there suffering in silence I know we can help them . I knowif they reach out even a little we will reach back.  Personally Ihave had a break thru of sorts. I haven't even shared with Susan yet. Ihave been having flashbacks for the last couple of days. What'sdifferent this time is that I have some control over them. In the pastthey took over me, now I seem to be able to ride em out. I haveremembered a face. I never ever remembered any face. I am pretty surethis face was from my attack at 19, but in any case I have seen it.It's funny....I thought I'd be scared when and if I remembered it, butI am not scared. Actually I dreamt it and now when I am awake I don'tremember it, but i do know I saw it in a dream. I saw it, acknowledgedit and can go from here. I also remembered some words that werewhispered to me during the attack. So I am a happy camper....I know itsounds weird. I remember this bad stuff and yet I feel better. Welljust knowing I can remember this cra* and not trigger myself is a goodthing. I am sure I will be remembering more as I go..... 7/15/99  This month has been easier then I hadthought possible. June 24 came and went. I did have some problems butmuch less then I ever dreamed possible. This was a hard day all around.It was the 25th anniv of the rape at 19. God 25 years ago...I stillcannot believe it's 25 years. In some sense it's not 25 years. I havevery very little memory of the last 25 years...some but not much. So itdoes not feel like 25 years but yet it feels like a lifetime ago. Ihave been working on really realizing it was not my fault. None of itwas and I think I am really realizing that now. My online friends havebecome such a wonderful support group for me. I know that usually nomatter what time of day or nite I can usually find someone online andready to chat...It's comforting to know that I have such support.  Saferoom isnow around the 250 mark. This was a goal of mine and I am sorry to seeit was fulfilled. Sorry that so so many people have a need forsaferoom. Yet I am thankful I have been a part of saferoom and all thehelp it has given to different people. The person who benefited themost from saferoom is me. I have gotten so much out of being able tohelp others and myself along the way. Below is something I wrote to myabuser (the one at 19) it's a first draft but I will go from here.... To the shadow of mypast, I sit here for hours onend just trying to think of the right things to say to u. The personwho made me afraid of everything including my shadow and then some.Myvoice has been found and u no longer can escape what I have to say.True u may not hear the words I say, true I may never be able to saythem to your face but these words are for me. The words I say come deep from myheart, deep in the soula place u didn't break in fact a place u neversaw ¦.You tried to humiliate me and hurt me, andultimately the plan was to kill me. U tried but guess what? I am stillhere. I guess I must be stronger then you..Yes you hurt me, maybe evenbroke me, But in the end it is I who has wonIt is I who can reclaim mylife for myself. It is I who can put the ugliness to good use. It is Iwho can soar like an eagle, for you surely cannot with all yourhorrible baggage. It was you who made me doubt myself, doubt the ugliesever happened. It was u whowould say words to me that I will hear echoing the rest of my life. Thewords "Shut Up Bitch Your Mine" are so embedded in my head they will bethere for eternity. I used to ask why me???? Why me? What did I do todeserve this? I now know that I did nothing. I could not havedone anything Differently to have made the out come better it couldhave been worse not better. I did MY BEST to keep my eyes closed duringmost of the attack and to this day I don't like closing my eyes. Youmade me so afraid of the dark, so afraid of not having enough air tobreathe, so afraid I was notgoing to see the next day, so afraid you would cut me up just like theothers. You thought it funny even laughed at me when I cried or said Iwas scared. What kind of sick animal does the kinds of things u did tome? Your not human and do not deserve to be treated as such. I wouldeven say u deserve to die but maybe u are dead already. I can only hope u are. I just hope thatu never got the chance to hurt another living soul. You do not deserve any consideration foranything in life. You're the scum of the earth, the dreck the dogs doo. 10/6/99 Wow saferoom now has over350 members and is getting lots of hits each day. I hear from peopleall over the world and they all tell me how good it is to have thesupport of people as we have here. the way we are growing each day wewill be a club of 400 by years end. Thanks to everyone who has helpedme along this journey. Personally I have beenreally down lately. I have a bad sinus infection and a polyp in mysinuses so I was advised not to fly. So I had to cancel the Vegas tripbut some of the saferoom family are meeting in Vegas. I have isolatedmyself from most of my friends which saddens me but I also feel I amtired of making excuses for them. I have no room in my "new" life forpeople who cannot or won't be supportive. I do not plan to give all myfriends up permanently but just not devote as much time as I wasbefore. I have started therapy with another woman an expert in Trauma.I am still seeing Susan but on a different level. We still talk abuseif that's what I need to do but on a different level. I think we havebecome closer then the traditional therapist/patient relationship andit is difficult to separate feelings that way. This person is teachingme more about trauma and how to de-sensitize myself. I have gone 3times and until today it was not to bad. I did tell her today I neededher to push me. That's very scary to me, but yet I know its what I needat this point. I think that once I get the tools she can supply mewith, Susan and I will be able to get back on track. 10/18/99 Wow have I come far. I wasjust re-reading over some of my earlier posts in saferoom and I reallycan see how far I have come. I have certain awareness about me now. Iam aware of where I have come from but I am also aware that I can gomuch further. I want to explore different things and help people. Iknow for sure that this terrible thing that happened to me calledchildhood sexual abuse can also become a blessing for others as I havegone thru a lot of pain and anguish and I am willing and able to help.Thats what I want to do. Help as many survivors as I can and I know Ican and will make a difference... 11/13/99 I find i need to write heremore but never seem to be able to find the time to doing it. I am doingso good it's almost scary. I have been going to what I call "traumalady" Actually she is a very nice Psychiatric Trauma Expert...Traumabeing her specialty. After having a talk Susan and I decided I neededsome outside help. Susan was not not going to see me I was just gettingsome help cause we were stuck in my healing as I have said before. Sothis trauma lady just delve right in. Of course I had to let her in andI did. We have had I think 6 double or triple sessions lasting from 2-3hrs. I have learned a lot in these past few weeks and learned that Ireally have more control then I wanted to admit to. I think I wasscared to heal. I wanted to heal so badly to heal but when I got downto the final curve I buckled. I got scared. I blame everything bad inmy life on the rape. Even notice how I write sometimes the rape...WellI know I was raped at 8 and then at 19 so thats rapes plural....But yetI only put rape. I still do not put to much emphasize on the rape at 8even though I know I should. I will continue to go to Susan although Iprob will try and start going every 2 weeks instead of every week.Thats a good feeling cause I used to go a lot. I still like therapyeven though it is hard cause I believe thats where I get the info Ineed to challenge myself. Susan is very good at planting seeds insidemy head knowing I will figure out how to make the seeds grow......Saferoom now has over 400 members and growing fast. I have startedsaferoom on Delphi because Yahoo is not all the time stable and web tvusers were having a problem accessing the chat room at yahoo. I amfinding that I still love to chat and I am pretty good at helpingothers so I will stick with this for as long as I need to and as longas I can make a difference. I can truly say I am living a good life nowand that I am happy. I look forward to what the future will bring but Iknow that going into the year 2000 I am leaving behind the part of methat I dragged around for the last 37 odd years. With me into 2000 iscoming a new more focused less troubled person whom I even sort oflike. Well there are days I like myself days I still don't but I havedreams now that I never had before. Hard to think I went 45 years without dreams... I think I can reach some of the goals I am setting up formyself and I know I will continue down the recovery path. 1/30/2000 Wow the year 2000 . I canhardly believe it. Well saferoom has over 500 members now and growingstrong. Personally I have mad great strides and can say I am certainlybetter then I ever thought possible. I still have issues to work on andI still will have the occasional flashback and or trigger but for themost part I can say I am healed. This year I will focus on my weight. Ihave been told that the weight is the last thing to heal from. I amstill afraid to lose the weight cause I do not want to look attractiveto men but I know that this time I will do it. I plan on exercise andwatching what I eat but no diets. I am giving myself a goal of 75 lbsby the end of 2000. I dont think thats unrealistic. I think in the pastI would have all these unrealistic expectations for myself and so Iwould always fall short. I am also trying to make this year a verypositive one. No room for negativity. I want to push forward whereverthis healing takes me and go for the moon. I cannot say I am glad I wasabused but I can say that I am who I am cause of it...And I LIKE menow.. This is something I recentlywrote for trauma lady... Most of the time I believe what I wrote butsometimes I need to come back here to my page and read it to remind me.I guess I am only human after all. Ups and downs thats what healing isbut I will ride these waves until I reach the end...That I will neverstray from. NOONE will stop me now.....NOT EVEN ME!!!!!!!!!!! 8/14/2000 Wow I cannot believe itsbeen so long since I have written here. Saferoom now has over 650members and growing strong. I find that to keep up with all the forumis a lot of work but so rewarding. I get letters and PMs constantlyfrom members telling me how much Saferoom has helped them in therehealing. I agree, I see so many members who reach out and use theSaferoom for what it was meant to be a healing tool. We are not thereto replace anyones therapist and encourage members to find a therapist.As we grow bigger and bigger I can see the magnitude of what abuse doesto all walks of life. It effects everyone is some form. We know how iteffects the abused but I never really grasped how it affected thefamilies and friends of the abused. If the statistics are right andevery one in 4 girls is abused (and thats of those who tell) and 1 in 7boys (again only those who tell) well then 25% of our women aredirectly affected by abuse done to them. How many people are affectedby the abuse done to that 25% of women. We know it carries overinto lives. So the families and friends of these women are affected bythe abuse but may not even know it. I really believe this is ofepidemic proportions now. Some how something has got to be done to slowthis cycle down. Talking in places like saferoom can and will help butits not enough. I know we need to start small but when something is sobig as abuse is its hard to sit back and start small. I would like totake this offline and into the mainstream in the near future. I believewe need to get into the schools and let kids know that if they havebeen abused its ok to tell. Its ok to get help now. Its not ok to havethese kids grow up with no help and thinking there to blame. NO CHILDIS EVER TO BLAME. The adult is to blame not the innocent kids. But overand over again I see grown adults who were abused as children byadults, think it was somehow there fault. A lot of abusers tell theirvictims its there fault they were abused. BULL SHI* . There is no way akid is responsible for any abuse done to them or that they participatedin. JUST NO WAY. The sad part about allthis is that a large percentage of the population is oblivious to theeffects of abuse and how it scars for life. How do we get the messageout there to everyone to know it is a life long problem its notsomething that goes away. In my own healing I have made wonderfulstrides, but I now know that no matter what I do I will carry some ofthis around forever. Not in the same capacity I have been but it willalways be there. Its sort of like a broken bone. You break a bone andit hurts. You have it set and it takes weeks to heal. Even after itheals it still hurts u now and then. Maybe in bad weather or whateverbut it lets u know its there. It never ever heals back so that itsperfect as if it never happened. It may be years until it bothers youagain but at some point its most likely going to give you some pain. Healing I have found outis similar process. We get abused and if were lucky at some point werealize we need help and seek out a therapist. We do the work and weheal but at some point the ugly monster will rear its head in again The after effects I dobelieve that they NEVER go away but how we deal with them can bealtered drastically. For myself I very rarely get flashbacks any moreand from someone who was haunted by them daily for most of their lifethats a god send. I cannot make myself believe I will never have themagain. I need to know deep inside that if I do flash again its ok andits only temporarily something my mind needs me to go back to. Thelessons we learn continue throughout our entire lives. We can alwayslearn from what we have been thru. I have a certain amount of comfortknowing that my daily fight and war are over. I just cannot fool myselfinto believing I will never have a bad day again, for I know I will butI also know with certainty that no matter how many bad days I havethere are LOTS and LOTS of good days to be had 5/2/2001 Well here it is May and Ihaven't updated this since last Aug. I do not even know where to start.Last Sept we had the 2nd Annual Saferoom Convention in DC. What a smashhit it was. Everyone who attended was so glad they had. Turns outeveryone was scared to go but so glad they did. we bonded so well , itwas like a reunion of old friends. This years is scheduled forDC again and I am sure we will have more people then we did last year. Saferoom now has over 700members and is flourishing just fine. It has become a hugeadministrative chore for both copper and myself but we are bothdedicated to it and it's members. We have started the arrangements forbecoming a Not For Profit Org and hope to have it done sometime in 2002. On a personal note I amstill going to therapy but I only go once a week or once every otherweek. I have lots of issues to deal with besides the sexual abuse, andnow it seems the time to dedicate to working on them. For so long all Ithought was that all my issues have something to do with sexual abusebut I now realize that a lot do not. Not everything in my life has tobe a bi product of abuse. I am so much stronger then I was 3 years agowhen I started Saferoom. I do not even resemble the same person I wasbefore. I took a long deserved 3week vacation in Dec 2000 and met some of the saferoom members on thetrip. We then took a cruise to Tahiti and it was wonderful. Flying somuch i think cured me of my flying phobia. It was very nice to get awayand leave my troubles behind. It was the first vacation I can everremember "being" there for. Hope to have many more after this one. Just want to let everyoneknow that if you are going to be doing any online shopping thruamazon.com please use my links below. All money earned will be added tomoney earned thru the saferoom site and go toward getting us more roomand a more secure server. Saferoom is here to stay...................... 7/6/2003 It'sbeen like forever since I have written here and for no other reasonthenlack of time. So much has happened in the last 2 years it's unreal.I have finished with therapy and have dealt with all my issues ofabuse.I have learned it is a large part of who I and a larger part of who Iwillbecome. I have grown so much and am now finally happy and content withmylife. I do not think that I could have done this journey on my own andIam so grateful to those "friends" who have been along side me for theentirejourney. I will continue to growand continueto learn things about myself and where I have been but I can do thatnowwith a clear head and a good understanding that a person who has beenabusedis more then just an "abused" person. We are people with feelings andhopesand dreams just like everyone else. we need tender loving care,understandingand TIME. This journey can take a lifetime and we cannot be pushed. Weneedto learn how to crawl before we learn how to walk and someday hopefullyrun. I thank all those peoplewhohave come into my life thru this web site and thru the clubs I run.Eachand everyone one of you have touched a place in my heart that willalwaysbe cherished & remembered. This graphic wasdesigned by a good friend who wanted to combine both the survivorsymbol with a heart  I am proud to announce that I am anexpert for the expertcentral.com network. Visit the site and posequestions to myself or to other experts in other categories  Statementsof Empowerment Statistics Saferoom Web Site  ProtectYour Site!   MyDiva On The Net Page               var PUpage="76001073"; var PUprop="geocities"; r yvnContents='http://us.toto.geo.yahoo.com/toto?s=76001073&l=NE&b=0&t=1028511711';yvnR='us';yfnEA(0);geovisit();geovisit();var PUpage="76001073"; var PUprop="geocities"; varyvnContents='http://us.toto.geo.yahoo.com/toto?s=76001073&l=NE&b=0&t=1036958122';yvnR='us';yfnEA(0);geovisit();geovisit(); geovisit();  geovisit(); geovisit(); geovisit(); geovisit(); |
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I Am A Survivor Not A Victim 2008 October
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A survivor shares her story of sexual abuse.
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