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September 6th, 2008
Carnival of Positive Thinking
Each Sunday I post a set of articles to help us think more positively about the future. The grief cycle is tough and we often need a little help to find happiness again. So thank you to all those who submitted their articlesPeter Murphy presents How To Keep A Conversation Going - The 10 Simple Steps posted at Communication Skills Power.Chris Edgar presents Owning Our Disowned Energies posted at Purpose Power Coaching, saying, “Many of us worry that, if we show the world who we truly are, we’ll be hurt—in other words, we’ll be destroyed for “being ourselves.” Perhaps the part we’re afraid to show is our anger, vulnerability, sexuality, or something else. If this is true for you, I invite you to try this simple technique: just admit to yourself, without judgment or reservation, that the part you’ve been concealing exists.”Richard Onebamoi presents Three Essential Keys for Success posted at SELF-IMPROVE-BLOG, saying, “The ability to take action strategically is perhaps one of the most important single skills of achieving personal and professional success. Strategic action may be defined as the process to ensure successful achievement of personal or professional goals and objectives and this is the essence of strategic action.”Brain Blogger presents Laughter is the Best - and Possibly Oldest - Medicine posted at Brain Blogger, saying, “We have all heard the old adage before: laughter is the best medicine. But, it might just be among the oldest medicine.”AndrewB presents How far do your horizons expand? posted at Personal Hack, saying, “In my opinion, our worst enemy as humans is our own mindset. It’s our very selves that hold us back from taking what we really want in life and keep us locked up within ourselves.”Nathalie Lussier presents Being Grateful for What You Have posted at Billionaire Woman.com, saying, “Being grateful for what you have is a great way to overcome negative circumstances in your life.”Applying the Law of Attraction presents Three Sure Ways to Create Lack in Your Life posted at Applying the Law of Attraction Membership Library, saying, “When you try to attract abundance and prosperity into your life, you probably focus on techniques like affirmations and visualizations, as well as staying receptive…”Daylle Deanna Schwartz presents The Law of Attraction and Service People posted at Lessons from a Recovering DoorMat, saying, “Next time you want great customer service, use the Law of Attraction and kind but effective approaches.”Dianne M. Buxton presents Everyday Spirituality and Your Miracle on a New Earth posted at manifestingsuccess, saying, “This is one of the pieces of the puzzle, and I hope it helps.”Erin Pavlina presents How do you recover after an emotional setback? posted at Erin Pavlina’s Blog, saying, “How do you raise your energy when you’ve been stepped on and emotionally trounced by another person, and your self esteem is so low that you can’t even imagine ever being happy again?” Bill Urell presents Addictive Relationships: Are You Aware Of Theses 7 Signs of An Addictive Relationship? posted at Addiction Recovery Basics, saying, “Do you know the tell-tale signs of an addictive relationship? This article reveals 7 signs.”kenny mc bride presents The answers are easy, It’s the questions that are difficult! posted at Positive Thinking - A Realistic Approach.That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinkingusing our carnival submission form. Share This By anna -- 1 comment
September 6th, 2008
Remember We Need To Understand To Communicate
I wrote about this on my other blog - The Engaging Brand but wanted to share it with you as well. When we grieve, when we lose people that we love, then we can all suffer from people not understanding or even family disputes happening when people forget the feelings of others. Let me share a storyMum has a large garden. She is 78 and struggling to keep on top of the garden. I live 80 minutes drive away so I can only go back once a week/fortnight to help out. Anyway, this week gave me a strong lesson in communication.She knew I was going over to put in a 8 hour day, yet had hurt her leg the day before - trying to do the work. I was frustrated. When I got there, Mum knew that I was distant, the atmosphere was bordering on being frosty so I said“Mum, when you tire yourself, when you do too much, despite knowing that I am coming over to do the work…it maddens me. It feels like you don’t listen, it feels as though you don’t want me to help? I feel powerless stopping you doing too much. The anger is that you seem to not value me wanting to help”She looked at me, pale with tiredness with tears in her eyes and said“I value the time I have with you - that is why I do it. I am not trying to be stubborn, I am trying to ensure you don’t see me as a burden, trying to ensure that you don’t suddenly not want to come over because you have to work so hard…..You see I value our time much more than the garden”I laughed and gave her a hug. There was me, angry that she wouldn’t listen, that she seemed to want to do everything herself, that she seemed not to care - that I cared. There was Mum, caring too much.It made me think about how many times we THINK we are communicating and in fact we are communicating the opposite message than we want…why because the two people, have two motivations. To communicate, you need to understand both motivations first…communicate second  It also made me think h ow much our time is valued by others…..do we really understand the value of time before we lose someone close to us? [istockphoto] Share This By anna -- 0 comments
September 5th, 2008
4 Tips on Being Heartbroken
In grief we talk about being heartbroken, what I want to suggest is that our heart is NOT broken, it is still capable of loving again, it is still beating to keep us alive. Maybe what we should say is that we are heart - cracked!I often think that the words we use, don’t help us through our bereavement. If we believe it is broken then, we automatically think that there is no hope. There is hope, we have read stories on the blog of people who have found a new way of being happy, or even falling in love again. Maybe we should see that we need to find the GLUE to mend the crackG = Getting out and about again to re-join lifeL = Love. Sharing our love with family and friends to show ourselves that we are still loving people who careU = Understanding that we need to take small steps each day to rebuild our life. There is no one big answer, just incremental steps that will help heal our pain. E = Exercise. Our heart is a muscle that needs strengthening after it has been poorly. The best way is exercising - maybe a little walk each day, maybe some yoga, maybe joining a gym class. The more we strengthen, the quicker we help our heart heal[istockphoto] Share This By anna -- 2 comments
September 4th, 2008
Why do we use the word loss?
I never understand why we say we have lost someone - we haven’t lost them, we know where they are? We have also not lost theLove, or  MemoriesI know we feel the sense of loss, in the sense of physical sense and also lost of the chance of being with them in the future… Still when I say I have lost someone, it still sounds strange…what do you say?[iStockphoto] Share This By anna -- 0 comments
September 3rd, 2008
Diary of an Undertaker
I remember arranging the funeral service and the array of emotions that flooded my body. I remember feeling completely stupid as I just didn’t know what I was supposed to do, I remember wishing I had a resource to turn to…well, I came across The Daily Undertaker blog, written by Patrick McNally who describes says “For me, funeral service is an opportunity to serve families and help them through a very difficult time. Funeral directors need to listen carefully and ask the right questions in order to meet the different needs of different families. Families place their trust in us to care for them and for their loved ones. Funeral directors share a commitment to provide families with compassion and the best possible service. We also share a commitment to serving our communities. I give informational presentations on death, funerals, obituaries, and preplanning to a variety of local groups, and enjoy my involvement with many civic and charitable organizations in Stoughton, McFarland and Deerfield, Wisconsin.”  I just thought it was a wonderful way of helping those families through grief and through that awful process of organising a funeral. If you are in that position you may find the site very useful.[iStockphoto] Share This By anna -- 0 comments
September 2nd, 2008
Happy Anniversary, Mary
One of the regular readers of the blog is Mary and I wanted to share with you that this would have been her 8th wedding anniversary. She is a wonderful example of how helping others helps to heal the pain of losing your husband. If you would like to see the songs that remind her of her husband and more of her story then you can check out her site called Mary at MySpace. Mary my thoughts and love are with you today, in your grief remember the happy memories, remember the laughs, remember the love that you shared together. Losing love is painful however, remember that never loving at all must be even worse….love to you today x[iStockphoto] Share This By anna -- 7 comments
September 1st, 2008
How to Help a Parent Grieving
At the weekend I posted an emotional letter - Can Anyone Help a Widow? - from a reader whose parent is struggling to come to terms with her grief. I thought about this long and hard as I want to help. I think my suggestion would be writing to her mother. At the moment, her mother needs closure, she cannot see a way forward without her husband. I think I would write and say something likeMum,I want you to know how much you mean to me, how much I love you. At the moment I spend the day thinking about how I can help you with your pain, I try each day to take your pain away. My biggest fear when the phone rings is that it is someone telling me that I have lost you. I am lost, I don’t know how to help, I don’t know how to help you through your grief…I need your help. I don’t want to lose you, I am still grieving over losing Dad and now I am faced with the day to day fear of losing you. You don’t think you have anything to live for…..I want you to know that you do. We love you more than words can say, we need you more than you will ever know. I suppose I am writing to say let me in, mum. I am grieving, I understand the loss….together we can help each other through the pain. When I was young, you were there for me, always telling me that things would be better tomorrow…..now it is my turn. We cannot change what has happened, we cannot change the past….but together we can find a new future, a new life that would make Dad proud. He loved you, he is still around us in our heart. He will be hurting at how his loss is destroying your life…let us help, let us in, please…….I would love to take you on a break away, maybe where you and Dad last went or where you met….together let us face this loss and find a way of moving on together.I hope that this letter shows how much I care, how much I need you in my life, how much I fear losing you. Please mum, let me help Love you more than words can say…. Without knowing all the circumstances, I think a letter may be the way of getting through to her. Words on a page can really hit home, she can read it over and over and think about her role as your mother. I don’t know if it would work but I think that is what I would do….what does everyone else feel? [Istockphoto] Share This By anna -- 2 comments
September 1st, 2008
Carnival of Positive Thinking
Here are this weeks articles to help you through that feeling of loneliness or depression due to our grief. Hope they helpToni presents You always have a choice posted at Happy Nest, saying, “This is a story about one of my life-defining moments. Making choices, no matter how simple or grand the situation is, empowers you. Passiveness won’t solve anything, but finding your voice and asserting it will.”Syphern A presents 5 Steps to the Perfect You posted at Self Growth Blog, saying, “5 Steps to use to change your life and become more positive. Achieve the goals you have always wanted to achieve.”Dereck presents An Essay on Human Growth posted at I Will Not Die.debergerac78 presents 16 Rules for Success posted at Creating With Impact, saying, “Bob Parson’s 16 simple rules are as much about living right as they are about making it big.”Chris Edgar presents Transcending Your Boundaries posted at Purpose Power Coaching, saying, “I believe many of our fears stem from a misperception of ourselves as small and weak. We see ourselves as too fragile to deal with possible setbacks in our jobs, confrontations in our relationships, and so on. In my experience, one way to overcome this sense of frailty is to feel, on a physical level, the fact that you are much greater and stronger than you may think you are. In fact, as the visualization I’ll describe helps you see, in your essence you have no boundaries, and no problem arising in your life can truly harm you.”TheLifeLessTraveled presents DonnaLyn Uses Cancer As An Opportunity To Help Others posted at The Life Less Traveled, saying, “Learn how dynamo DonnaLyn, who was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer in 2006, combined her energy, humor, knowledge of fitness and enthusiasm for people to become a professional speaker–reaching out to inspire and empower “folks that face chronic illnesses with more hope, more passion and more pleasure even during adversity.””Caroline Middlebrook presents You Should Never Worry About Anything - Ever! posted at Life Should Feel GOOD!.Brain Blogger presents Is Seeing Into the Future More Than an Optical Illusion? posted at Brain Blogger, saying, “Most humans do not have the power to predict the future, but we can see it. At least we can see one-tenth of a second of it.”Carole Gold presents Adversity Alert posted at McKay Today, saying, “Learning how to create a better future during one of the darker moments.”Carole Gold presents Presence, Patience & Trust posted at McKay Today, saying, “When Life seems to grind to a halt and it’s easy to lose hope, here’s a sure-fire receipe for holding on.”Philip Lilly presents Success Through Positive Thinking posted at Achieving your dreams.Peter Murphy presents How to Kick a Lack of Motivation Forever posted at Get Motivated Stay Motivated.Applying the Law of Attraction presents 3 Steps to Know What You REALLY Want posted at Applying the Law of Attraction Membership Library, saying, “One of the very first steps in working with the Law of Attraction is getting clear about what you want. It sounds simple enough, doesn’t it? Yet, millions of…”Stephen presents How to Stop Procrastinating, Get Motivated & Achieve posted at Balanced Existence, saying, “The exercise I’m going to show you is no joke. When I tried it out some time ago I had been very badly ill with Chronic Fatigue, lost my job and virtually failed at university. Through long struggle I had gotten my health back on track and was about to start studying for my degree by correspondence. I hated university with a passion. So I spent some time running through the exercise in this article to get motivated to just get the thing done. Well, it worked. It took me just 16 months to complete an entire degree. There is nothing special about me. I just knew of a technique to motivate myself and importantly I made use of it. This exercise helped me put procrastination to bed, get motivated and achieve. It worked for me and it will work for you.”CG Walters presents Give Only What You Can posted at Into the Mist, saying, “Give only what you can without creating the burden of expectation.”David B Bohl presents Beating The Culture of Fear posted at Slow Down Fast Today!, saying, “You hear it on the news every day, the list of things you’re supposed to be afraid of today. Whether it’s killer cholesterol in your food, hidden terrorist cells or menacing muggers on the street, it seems that you can hardly draw a breath these days without the risk of inhaling a fatal dose of fear. But is there, really, all that much to be afraid of?”Great Management presents Enhance Your Chance Of Success posted at The GreatManagement Blog, saying, “GPS usually stands for “Global Positioning System” But better still it should stand for “Growth Plan for Success.” You need a plan to reach any stage of success, and success usually is a result of personal growth. So what should you consider for your plan?”That concludes this edition. Submit your blog article to the next edition of positive thinking using ourcarnival submission form. Share This By anna -- 1 comment
August 30th, 2008
Can Anyone of You Help a Widow?
There are times when we all need help and one of the readers has just written this comment“I am actually not a widow myself, but am seeking help for my 58 year old mother who lost her husband (my father) on may 17, 2005 after 29 years of marriage. he was diagnosed with stomach cancer just five months earlier, in january of that same year, so we didn’t have much time to say goodbye. the reason im here is that my mom hasn’t been dealing with her grief very well. she drinks, a lot, and no talking or comforting that me or my other siblings do seems to work. she refuses any type of support group, is not one to socialize very much so therefore doesn’t have too much of a life outside of this house. she mentioned to one of my sisters last night that one night almost 2 months ago when she was quite intoxicated, she was under so much stress that she took at least 60 pills of tylenol with the intention of killing herself. im lost. i dont know what else to do. we have offered support groups, talking to psychologists, shes been on several trips to key west, florida with each of us, and refuses to really go out with friend  s. we’re running out of options. i’ve already lost one parent, and i am not even close to being ready to lose another one. any advice would be greatly appreciated.”Wow….I want to help and reach out to this lady. Mainly because I can imagine the pain she is feeling. Can anyone suggest what they would do? [istockphoto] Share This By anna -- 3 comments
August 30th, 2008
How Pain Affects The Memory
In response to the poem I wrote called The Visions of Lost Love, Hazel and I were talking about the pictures we have in our mind. In one of the comments I wrote” I will never give up hoping that one day that picture will change. I know it is the pain that is still holding my attention rather than the love that I know is deep inside”Pain is such a powerful emotion that I have found it can change the pictures and even the feeli ngs inside your body. However, I think it is important to realise that the pain is masking, probably because it is protecting your heart until it recovers. The grief we feel, maybe the waiting time between protecting our heart and allowing it to feel again ? That will happen, we just have to trust in the power of human nature.[istockphoto] Share This By anna -- 0 comments
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Learning how to redefine yourself and rediscover life
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