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Title: History/By Topic/Exploration/Explorers/Raleigh, Walter - Sir Walter 'the Unfortunate' Raleigh The Incompetech website's satirical take on Raleigh.
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Sir Walter Raleigh  Sir Walter 'the Unfortunate' Raleigh(1552-1618)Walter Raleigh (or perhaps Ralegh) was born in the farmhouse of Hayes nearBudleigh Salterton Bay1. He apparently did nothing of interest until 1580,when he tried to make up for his slow start by being twice arrested fordueling2.Of course, his big claim to fame these days is the story that he once gallantlythrew his cloak over a mud puddle so that Queen Elizabeth I wouldn't gether feet dirty. Like most of these nifty stories, it's almost certainlywrong. He actually had another legend as well, much less well-known thesedays--he supposedly used a diamond to scrawl verses on a window pane inorder to get the Queen's attention3.Whether it was because of the verses or not, Walter became Sir Walter in1584, which just goes to show you that a prison record doesn't always haveto hold you back. The Queen chose him as a favorite and showered him withgifts of land and money, but, strangely, never gave him any high office4.In return, he introduced tobacco from the New World to England, earningthe gratitude of physicians everywhere on the British Isles.In 1585, Sir Walter decided to start his very own colony in the New World. He got a patent from the Queen giving him permission and sent his firstbatch of settlers to Roanoke Island5. Of course, this didn't work verywell, but Sir Walter was never one to balk at a challenge. Over the nexttwo years, he sent two more groups of colonists to meet their respectivedooms in the same spot. By 1588, he was no longer a favorite at the EnglishCourt6. The following year, Sir Walter admitted defeat and sold his patentrights to a merchant company.Sir Walter and Christopher Marlowe, a contemporary of his, were both namedatheists in 1590. This was a big deal back then, as you couldn't get intoany of the good clubs if you weren't the same religion as the country'sruler7. Sir Walter didn't let this faze him, though; he kept right onvoyaging, perhaps thinking he'd be better off not staying in one place toolong. But one day the Queen recalled him from a voyage. She was extremelyangry with him for seducing one of her maids of honor8 and forced himto return to face the music. The lady in question was named Bess Throckmorton9,and the Queen reacted very badly to the news of Sir Walter's attachmentto her10. The pair were thrown into the Tower for a time (separate cells,of course) until the Queen relented due to a lot of really obsequious, overly-flatteringletters Sir Walter sent to her. Bess and Sir Walter were released and dulymarried, whereupon they retired to Sir Walter's estate, which he had, inhappier times, "extorted from the Bishop of Salisbury by unscrupuloususe of the royal influence."Though he and Bess were reported to be very much in love, Sir Walter wasoff adventuring again by 1595, when he went exploring for gold in SouthAmerica11. He wrote a much-romanticized version of hie journey on hisreturn to England, but it was not well-received. He was now very unpopular,due to his "greed, arrogance, and scepticism in religion."12In 1602, the unfortunate Sir Walter was ejected from his house, which theBishop promptly reclaimed. Sir Walter was then accused of conspiring againstthe new ruler, James I13, and was sent to the Tower of London14. Thiswas one of the lowest points in Sir Walter's life. He tried to stab himself,but failed miserably in that, too, and got only a slight wound. He eventuallygot out by promising to find gold in South America without bothering theSpanish15. The expedition was poorly equipped. Sir Walter caught a feverand nearly died, and his son did die, at the hands of the Spanish16. SirWalter made it back to England just in time to be executed on 29 October1618.But he did write some poetry, which is why he's on this list. Two separateeditions of his poems were published during his lifetime, which was no meanfeat. Now a place better known for an extremely brief mention in a Monty Pythonsketch. The British had recently decided that dueling was too French to be toleratedon their island. A noise like that would get anyone's attention. The Queen may have been on to something. Or she may simply have been beingdifficult. She was known for that. Yes, that Roanoke Island. The Queen had probably had quite enough of him slowly depopulating hercountry. Unfortunately, back then the royal religion kept changing. Citizens hadbeen darting back and forth between Catholic and Protestant for nearly sixtyyears at this point, and they were beginning to get confused. They were very serious about that title in the sixteenth century. No comment. The Queen was probably extra angry because Bess' father had once insultedthe Queen in a letter he'd written. Queen Mary I would have been even angrierif she'd still been on the throne--Bess' father Sir Nicholas Throckmortonhad actually beaten a charge of treason that Mary levied against him. Thiswas just not done in those days. The jurors who found him not guilty werepromptly imprisoned and forced to pay a fine of 2,000 pounds each beforebeing released. Really, I'm not kidding. He thought the Spanish might have missed some. Nowadays, these are the sorts of qualities that can set you on the roadto the White House. Personally, I'm not sure he even noticed there was a new ruler. This was not at all the popular tourist spot that it is now. He knew perfectly well this was impossible, but he was really sick ofthe Tower. Apparently someone bothered them. |
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