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Emotional
hostage
- the book
Ians
way of seeing
who
is Ian Wolstenholme
what
ian says about
Love
& Trust
Relationship
Sex
love awareness
Is
it ok to have feelings?
intimacy
Self
discovery
Struck
by enLightening
Maps
of the path?
What
can I do? Truth
meet
with ian
Consultations
Workshops
RY Process
Emotional
EnergyHealing
Barry
Long tribute
links
page
Consciousness
is the receptor within which
the truth of any experience reveals itself
the seeing
of ian
wolstenholme
the enlightened spiritual visionary
WARNING THIS SITE WILL SERIOUSLY
DISRUPT YOUR BELIEFS
Activating the Seer with Ian Wolstenholme by
Susan Barber
We all know that the great Boddhisatvas teach
of our need to master the science of "nonattachment." And this idea of nonattachment
perhaps communicates well to the Eastern mind. But in the West, that word often
reaches our ears as a synonym for "indifference." In truth, however, indifference
and nonattachment are worlds apart.
In order to find a way to communicate the inner
meaning of nonattachment as opposed to indifference, we sought to speak with
a teacher who approached his or her work with this distinction in mind. Such
a one is Ian Wolstenholme. Ian sees it as his mission to help people relocate
into that authentic Self where we may experience true Lightness of Being. He
realizes the confusion that has been caused by the attempt to translate Eastern
concepts for the Western mind. And out of this realization, he has developed
a powerful and effective way-of-looking at the process of Being Here Now. Ian
speaks eloquently of how we may achieve this state of being. For many of us,
his words may well provide a missing link.
Susan: How have you ended up focusing on the task
of applying Eastern traditions to the Western mind?
Ian: It's because most of the information that
I get is about that. I work with people at the point where they reveal to me
what they've made something mean.
Susan: I understand you've developed a way of talking
about being in the Now that makes it easier for the Western mind to understand
what that really means. Could you share this with us?
Ian: I'll begin by saying that the Western mind
is extremely sophisticated. It needs to be given information. So the first piece
of information that I communicate to people is that we have all been conditioned
to believe that we are one person, but we are actually made up of many parts.
For example, you may believe that you're Susan. But on a closer examination,
you will find that Susan is many different "conditioned selves" many behaviors
and emotional states, each one with a script that gets played out when the part
is triggered. And then there is the part I call the "Seer." This is the part
that Buddha talked about to his disciples, the place of the Present or nonduality.
The Seer is a space that everybody has experienced. It is only when we go into
one of our conditioned selves that we become "dual." And in order to locate
ourselves as the Seer of our experience, all we have to do is make the distinction
between that and the many other parts of the self.
Susan: And how do you teach people to do that?
Ian: We can start in a very simple way. Having
said that Susan has many parts, we can say that when she is not in the Seer
part the part that is in the Present she must be in a part of herself that
comes from the past. If Susan believes in this role she is playing from the
past, then she is held in that part. And that part of her will do everything
it can to get other people to play their parts in her script.
Susan: And if she doesn't believe in it?
Ian: Then she locates as the Seer, and she will
now discover the set of attitudes and beliefs of that part. And she will discover
the script. We "tag" our scripts, and that helps us relocate into the Seer.
That's what it's all about. Location-location-location.
Susan: Can you describe this process of tagging
our scripts? Give us an example.
Ian: The most important script is what I call the
"resentment script." For example, if we are running a resentment script we may
be saying something like, "I've got a right to do this," or, "This isn't fair."
These kinds of ideas are good indications that we're in a resentment script.
So whenever we feel that we've got a right to something or that the world is
being unfair, we can notice that feeling. It's a kind of "tag" we can give to
our emotions, to remind us that we've just switched into a part, into a script.
We sit there and say, "Oh, I've done all this for them, and I've done this and
I've done that, and they've not done this." There's always a huge list of reasons
to justify our abusing somebody or dumping our resentment on them. The minute
we find ourselves in the middle of one of these lists, we know we're in resentment.
It's a wonderful place to "tag." And then we can come back into the present
and just allow the present emotion to be whatever it is. It's like moving the
cursor on a computer screen. If we put the cursor in one window, then that window
is active. We can move the cursor into the Seer and activate the Seer.
Susan: Is the resentment script going to be just
one part?
Ian: No. Unfortunately, the parts aren't easily
labeled. They're much more complex than that. You can't say the resentful part,
because quite a few parts will fit into the domain of resentment. But resentment
is, I think, the most powerful source of our scripts, partly because it poses
as anger. Some people say, "I'm really angry," but what they really are is resentful.
Susan: What's the difference? Ian: Anger is an
immediate response. Something happens and you blast. Anger is a flash. Anger
is raw. Anger doesn't sit there. It's resentment that sits there. Resentment
is a really, really nasty, squirming place to be. We have a list of "hard done
bys" as we would say in England all the bad things we think have been done
to us and we use that list to justify that we're treating the other person
any way we care to treat them.
Susan: In my experience, when people are running
resentment scripts and we are not playing our correct roles, we may be accused
of being cold or unfeeling. For example, I have a friend who has lost his job,
and his wife is going ballistic trying to make him upset about that. She keeps
accusing him of not caring about his family. How can he remain in the Now without
being perceived as cold and unfeeling?
Ian: The answer to this kind of question is not
simple. Because it's highly possible that although this man is appearing to
be disengaged, he is actually withholding his true feelings. And withholding
is also a resentment script! Let's say that the man you spoke of is only appearing
not to be upset by his situation. Doesn't he need an income? Doesn't he need
a job? What is he doing about it? There's a lot that happens with the emotional
energy between people. It's not just the words that they use to communicate
with each other. The emotional energy with which words are delivered is what's
important. Emotional energy is the thing that really defines what's going on.
We could look at this situation and say that although the wife appears to be
the one who is upset and angry and out of control, it may be her husband's "calm
script" that is driving her. The man may well be saying, "I'm not doing anything
to cause this behavior!" when all the time he's withholding his true feelings.
And that is part of what I call a resentment script.
Susan: Wow! I know these people, and I think you
may be absolutely right about the dynamics that are happening. I never even
thought of that. How can we get rid of these scripts?
Ian: The aim is not to get rid of them. We can't
get rid of them. The aim is to know that this is what's happening when we are
feeling a particular way. For example, if you talk with your mother, it's highly
likely that she will get you to locate in "little" Susan or one of the little
Susans. The freedom in all of this is in knowing what it means when we are feeling
upset or whatever we don't want to feel, and using our awareness to see where
we are in ourselves. Being upset means that we've been triggered into a particular
part of the self. It's the script within the part that triggers all the feelings
that we're feeling.
Susan: And what about cases where others are really
trying to get us to engage in their scripts and we're not buying it. Won't it
create distance in the relationship if we refuse to play the game? How can we
do that without being perceived as cold and uncaring?
Ian: The first answer is, we can't. In order to
stay out of the other person's script, we simply need to know that it's the
right thing to do. If we understand the way we work and have verified this in
ourselves in other words, we see that what I'm saying is not just an idea
but is an accurate description of what happens then we know that if we get
drawn into the other person's script, we're colluding in keeping them there.
But the second answer is to realize that the Seer in the other person doesn't
want us to play the role in their script. When your friend rings up and tells
you some awful thing has happened, it does seem supportive to say, "Aw, how
terrible!" It does seem that your friend wants you to play your part in her
script. But in truth, your friend is really saying, "Help me out! Don't buy
this!"
Susan: I've been on this path a long time, and
I talk to many others who have, as well. And we all understand about these things.
And we have, most of us, been in the space of lightness of the heart. But we
want to live there all the time, and this is eluding us. How can we make this
state more permanent?
Ian: There's a lot we can do to prepare the space
for this to happen. And one way is to make use of what I've been talking about.
Use our awareness to see as quickly as we can when we are in one of our scripts.
And then move into the Present. But how to make it a permanent state? I don't
have any advice. We seek this, and then someday it happens by grace. The permanence
comes by grace.
Ian Wolstenholme is a teacher, workshop leader,
and author of the book Emotional Hostage Negotiate Your Freedom.
In 1970, while working as a design consultant
in London, Ian had a profound experience of "realization." In 1979 and 1981,
becoming aware of a need to incorporate this experience into his life, he went
to India and spent time in a community there with the enlightened mystic Osho.
Later, he met the enlightened teacher Barry Long, and for ten years after that
organized and ran the Barry Long Centre, which came to be a successful worldwide
organization.
Today, he works with people in both the UK and
Europe, facilitating workshops, courses, and retreats, holding satsangs, and
giving private consultations. You may visit his website at Realised.org, or
contact him by email at nutanian@Hotmail.com.
Ian lives in Somerset, England with his partner,
Anna. (Repoduced from http://www.spiritofmaat.com)
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